What Kind of Woman Am I?

Another letter to mom.

Hey. Mom!

You know how I’ve been trying to decide what kind of woman I am? Well, last week I stopped shaving my legs. Why should I? Right?

I’m still upset about walking in on Angelo and Sarafina. But I’m also over it. Kayla helped me heal. She pooped in his closet.

Can you believe we thought I was pregnant?! Food poisoning. You called it!

I am a little sad about losing the baby though. It would have been nice to have things all figured out. And easy.

Now I have so many choices. The whole world is my oyster again.

So anyway, there’s this new guy I like. Liam. He’s SO mean to me.

Mom. Isn’t it crazy when someone hates you for no reason and you’re like- “whatever,” but then if he was all: “wanna smash?” you’d be like “yeah?!”

That’s what it’s like with Liam. I thought maybe if we touched, there would be a spark. So, I wore that miniskirt dad hates to Liam’s basketball practice today.

He’s the kind of player that gets to sit down a lot.

Well, I sat next to him and rested my leg on his. I waited for our eyes to meet, but instead he just yelled “Damn girl! Shave your legs!”

They are really prickly.

I was gonna shave, but Kayla was all “You are perfect. Don’t you ever shave for a guy. Just give him a blow job!”

Thank God for Kayla. Amiright?

-Noodle