The Shortest Giraffe

My favorite story when I was growing up.

Daisy was the prettiest giraffe in the jungle. She had a long neck, long legs, and her eyelashes were thick. Cathy had a short neck, little legs, and her eyelashes were just regular. All the boy giraffes had a crush on Daisy and that made Cathy hate her.

“Fuck Daisy,” thought Cathy. (Now I know your parents probably told you not to use that word, but… it iswhat Cathy was thinking.)

Because Cathy was super short, she couldn’t reach the leaves at the top of the trees, and everybody knows that the up high leaves taste like candy. The other giraffes laughed at her and said, “Go eat a bush with the baby giraffes.” So, she did.

One day, a gang of saber tooth devil lions came and slaughtered all the tall giraffes including Daisy. Cathy and the babies were safely hidden in the bushes. When they came out, they found everyone torn to pieces and dead and bloody.

It was sad, so no one talked about it. Ever.

Cathy became the giraffe leader. She told the others that being short and having regular eyelashes was beautiful. She said lions only ate tall giraffes. As the kids grew taller, they became afraid for their lives. They started to hunch over and walk with bent legs.

One day, Cathy was dancing ballerina style by herself when she was taken down and dragged away by a saber tooth devil lion. A few days later, the other giraffes found her bloody rotting body. That is what Cathy gets for lying.

The end.