Hello Craigslist
Help me find my soulmate.
Hello Craigslist. Well, well, well.
Another day. Another lost soulmate. Please help me find him.
To the man wearing the baby on his chest:
Earlier today, I spotted you in the pupusa line at the Hollywood Farmer’s Market.
I walked by in a little red wrap dress- that you undid with your eyes.
There was a woman and some small children with you… Relatives?
The woman was talking to you about hurricanes, but you were smiling at me.
And I at you.
We spoke for hours- with our eyes. God, we have so much in common.
We’re not worried about right or wrong.
We know a one-night stand can mean more than an entire marriage.
Look. I dance to the beat of my own playlist. I like my steak medium raw.
I don’t need you to come over to my house and kill spiders.
Your phone rang and you took a call from a Dr. Miller. I’m glad there’s no blood in your stool.
I wanted to congratulate you, but the baby spit up on you, and you left for the bathroom. You weren’t upset. Such a good… uncle?
I did some shopping but never saw you again.
If you want to pick things up where we left off, here is my Venmo.
Send me a little something so I know you’re serious.
Yana



Just an aside: this one was particularly good, Char.
People who are always talking about hurricanes are negative people.